As Matric prelims kick off and the countdown to finals begins, Grade 12 scholars are under immense pressure. Beyond the late nights of revision, many also grapple with the fear of disappointing their families and uncertainty about what comes next.
Against this backdrop, the role of parents becomes critical. Refilwe Maakamedi, Assistant Principal: Social Services and Counsellor at SPARK Schools, says parental support in the run-up to exams can make all the difference.
Here’s her advice for parents:
Accept your child’s strengths
One of the biggest stressors that scholars carry is the fear of letting their parents down. They often struggle with the weight of the subject matter, as well as the pressure of meeting their parents’ expectations. Maakamedi urges parents to focus on their children’s unique abilities and interests, rather than pushing for exam outcomes or careers that reflect their own ambitions.
Tools like aptitude testing and career mapping can help reveal where a scholar’s natural strengths lie. “If we don’t align a scholar’s path with their interests and abilities, we risk burnout, resentment, or even dropout later in life,” Maakamedi explains. These emotional strains are especially worrying in the light of teen suicide statistics from the World Health Organization, which estimates suicide rates at 9% per 100,000 among 15-19-year-olds in South Africa – among the highest in the world1.
Be an accountability partner
Effective support is about partnership rather than policing. “It’s a balancing act. Parents should help their children stick to their commitments without turning into law enforcement. Done right, it reassures scholars that their parents are on their side.”
Accountability also means modelling good habits. Parental procrastination, disorganisation, and lack of structure can easily rub off. Building healthy routines should begin long before Matric.
Create a supportive home environment
Exams amplify existing household tension. If parents are fighting, if there’s ongoing divorce conflict, if there’s unresolved family strife, that stress sits on a child’s shoulders. Maakamedi’s advice? Call a temporary ceasefire. “For four or five weeks, put big arguments or major family decisions on hold. This can change your child’s outlook and, potentially, their Matric results.”
On a practical level, reducing chores or family obligations during exam season can help scholars focus. “I’m not saying children must stop contributing at home,” she says, “but rebalancing responsibilities shows them their time and effort are valued.”
Recognise that your child might study differently
Parents often mistake unconventional study methods for distraction. Some scholars thrive with traditional reading and writing in a quiet room, while others concentrate better with music playing, and yet others need colourful pens and diagrams. These methods may not look ‘serious’, but the key is flexibility: supporting the study style that actually helps your child absorb knowledge.
Manage your own stress
Parents’ emotional states matter. Scholars can easily absorb household stress, magnifying their anxiety. Maakamedi urges parents to practise self-awareness: “Check in with your child. Ask if they’re on track, offer what they need, and then step back. Regulating your emotions during this short period is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.”
Keep perspective when results arrive
Even after exams are over, anxiety lingers until results are released. If the outcome isn’t what was hoped for, Maakamedi stresses the importance of resilience. “Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Parents must model how to reframe disappointment. Sometimes a detour is simply a redirection toward a better path.”
Play the long game
Matric success isn’t built in the final weeks. Good habits, responsibility, and open communication begin years earlier. Matric is the culmination of a year-long journey; not just two months of cramming.
For parents, the call is clear: be partners, not pressure points; guides, not enforcers. Supporting your child through this stressful season is less about pushing them harder, and more about walking beside them, step by step, with empathy, understanding, and perspective.
1 https://www.holdmyhand.org.za/resource-articles/teen-suicide-prevention
